Warming up……

It’s so warm I have to go outside today” yelled hubby excitedly as he came running down the stairs. It takes 3C before the man will set his foot out the door.

The course I signed him up for with AOF (Norwegian language lessons) starts next week. It got too complex with the free language course at FRIS (Fredrikstad Internasjonale skole) on the other side of the bridge. The private AOF course is just around the corner – literally a 3 minute walk.

I’m in a really crap mood today. It’s beautiful outside and there’s nothing I want to do more  than buy a pair of skis and go skiing in the Fredrikstad Marka. No such luck – I’ve got the blessed flu and currently find myself locked indoors with two equally sick boys.

My youngest boy is insisting on reading Roald Dahl poems to me – I can only say that I don’t know what that man was smoking in the shed when he wrote children’s books but I want some!

The school Principal phoned me this morning. He just got the email I sent offering to help out with my youngest son’s lessons.  I think I sent it to the wrong teacher so it’s been ‘floating’ around for a while until it was brought to the Principal’s attention. He is thrilled and asked me when I could come.

Photo mission-Gamlebyen in Fredrikstad

My gorgeous American friend took me with on a little ‘photographic mission’ the other day. We decided that Gamlebyen was a safe bet as it is renowned for it’s charming old buildings and lovely views. Of course my battery went flat half way through and I didn’t bring a spare. It was fun anyway.




Shovelling snow

We walked out the door today to find fresh powder snow covering everything including our driveway – knee deep fresh powder snow. You can imagine my delight as I am the only one who ever shuffles snow in the family.

Shovelling snow is a labourous exercise only done out of a deep sense of love and duty. Thirty minutes later when hubby stuck his head out the window to point out that I had missed a spot – I had the most unkind thought of sending him back to South Africa!

Taking our little English rose to barnehage involved plowing a new path through the fresh snow as well. That was ok though – I pretended I was doing an aerobics class involving lifting my knees to my chest to the tune of my daughter singing “Bjørnen sover”

Ok, I confess – I was having that unkind thought again.

The boys are doing very well at the moment. Taking my little hyper eight year old to Tae Kwon-do has turned out to be a great success. He loves it and is giving the instructors his full attention. The Grandmaster himself is very pleased as he believes the boy has a natural talent for Tae Kwon-do (bet you he tells all  the mamas that!). I haven’t mentioned that the boy and I have a pact. If son respects the instructors and listens to them he gets to chose an ice cream after the Tae Kwon-do class.

I have never seen the boy so focused before.

My older son is not too happy with me at the moment as I have banned them from watching TV. I don’t know how we got there but we have gone from one hour TV pr day to six hours TV pr day and “home work later“.

Of course I am not going to ban them completely for the rest of their lives like I said I would. It’s all just a ploy so that they will appreciate the one hour they do get and have time to shuffle snow in the driveway.

I am a good mother – really I am!

Contemplating….

Lately I’ve been working hard to find a balance in my life. A balance between what I want and what my family needs. I’ve reached the stage where I am craving some intellectual or creative activity but it has to fit in with family life.

A job doesn’t fit in with our family life right now.  My children take up most of my time at the moment with Norwegian lessons, homework, extra mural activities – basically keeping them happy and entertained without using the wii or the TV as a baby sitter. There’s much to be said about a school day that finishes at 12.30.

For a while i tried to get into the whole cooking and baking thing but the truth is that I’m not really the domestic type. I always have preferred physical exercise and the outdoors to cooking and baking. Besides, my husband’s diabetic, my son hyper and I need to lose eight kilos.

I have been spending a lot of time walking – thinking. Where do I see myself ten years from now? What am I really passionate about?  - that kinda stuff. Basically taking time out to get back on track again. So many opportunities  - so little time.

The result is a feeling of inner peace. There are times when I just feel so privileged to be alive.

Gender issues

Yesterday my eight year old son persuaded me to take him to Tae Kwon-do lessons (his friend goes there).

I was delighted when I realised that he has matured considerably since our last attempt at Tae Kwon-do when we were asked to leave and not come back.

Note to self for next Tae Kwon-do lesson:

Bring a book with me so that I can hide behind it when he pretends that he is a dog, crawling on all four, lifting his leg pissing on the other students.

I’m seriously considering taking him to break dance lessons as I think he will enjoy it tremendously. That way he won’t have to stand still for a single second.

His little sister is also very keen to come with to Tae Kwon-do lessons (regardless of her young age). I am reluctant about taking her.  Firstly because not only does she join in her brother’s bizarre behaviour but she also encourages him to ‘go wild‘.

Secondly (and maybe more importantly) – I am concerned. Lately whenever we are changing her nappy she keeps yelling “don’t touch my nuts!

I think she is spending too much time with her brothers!

Picture perfect

Some photos I took whilst wandering around Altea in Spain.











The last wish

My dad always told me that he wanted to be buried ‘at home’ in Norway. He also made it very clear that it would be my duty to fulfil his last wish.

On a few earlier occasions dad and I jokingly discussed how I would carry out this ‘last wish’ of his. Dad had suggested that I “put him in my pocket”. I can just imagine how it would go down: “No honestly officer, I don’t take drugs and you shouldn’t do a taste test because it really is my dad’s remains you’re licking there……”

Not to mention airport security since 9/11. What does cremated ashes look like in X-ray vision anyway? Well, I was about to find out.

Airport security and terrorists aside – I was adamant to return my father’s ashes to the family grave yard so I did the necessary enquiries. It turned out to be a lot easier than I first had anticipated.

The children were a little confused as to how a person as big as ‘bestefar‘ (grandad) could fit into such a small jar (try explaining ‘cremation’ to an 8 year old and he’ll look at you as if you’re a pyromaniac!).

Ryanair had advised that the urn should be in the cabin hold with us – it just had to be sufficiently packaged in case of breakage. Apparently people don’t like the thought of breathing in cremated ashes (you don’t say!).

Hubby found a plastic box that could seal tightly and a roll of bubble wrap and two rolls of duck tape later – we were ready to go. I had the special documentation to wave at the customs should there be any problems.

My children became even more concerned that I might have lost my mind when I insisted on putting poor bestefar into a gym bag but they limited themselves to giving me the occasional suspicious glance.

Being the last day of the European school holidays – Alicante airport was chaotic. Keeping track of an excited two year old, a hyper eight year old and a psychopathic twelve year old who wants to beat his brother to death – makes it even more exciting.

Security check point at Alicante airport. At this point I was so stressed that I had forgotten all about bestefar in the gym bag wrapped up in duck tape.

We stripped down to our knickers on the one side only to frantically dig for our close on the other side – baby girl was rolling on the floor and her brother decided to join her. I found myself apologising to the people who were tripping over them when hubby grabbed me and whispered: “problem… you better take this one…”

The Security dude behind baggage x-ray started unpacking bestefar but for some or other reason he suddenly froze with a look of terror in his eyes (I recall a twitching eyelid).

Suddenly four police officers appeared out of nowhere.

There was such a weird vibe in the air that I expected the bomb squad to arrive at any minute.

I handed him the documentation from the Crematorium and the Norwegian Embassy.

I had no idea what security dude was asking but I preyed like hell that he wasn’t about to unwrap besterfar – there was a serious amount of duck tape involved. Besides, I kinda had it in my mind that besterfar would be resting in peace during the necessary journey with helpful grandchildren wanting to carry him every five seconds.

Next minute there was a flurry of apologies and said security dude went down on his hands and knees whilst begging my forgiveness. He seemed distraught that he had even dared to unzip the vessel of the resting. The four uniforms vanished.

That was pretty much it. We arrived home with bestefar in one piece (well, you get what I’m saying).

Now I just have to wait for the ground to defrost so that we can finally lay him to rest. The lady at the church seemed a little concerned that I want to keep a dead person with me for the next three months but I assured her that my dad is a friendly ghost. Besides – I enjoy talking to him – it makes me feel better.

She didn’t seem to appreciate my sense of humour.

Snow delight

Let me assure y’all of something. Kids love snow – no matter how cold it gets!

It takes a Norwegian to start a car…..

My car has finally started -thanks to my friend’s viking husband (who has now become my hero even if he doesn’t know how to work a washing machine).

I told the kids that I have to sit in the car while it’s idling in case something goes wrong – the truth is I’m hiding from my wonderful ever demanding family. Who cares if it means sitting in an idling car in -20C with a lap top whilst the neighbours give you funny looks!

The boy’s akebretter arrived tonight as well. Perfect timing as the school has decided to have a ‘fun day out’ tomorrow. That means that the kids get to bring their skis or toboggans to school and play most of the day. Young boy is so excited he can’t sleep.

As I sit here I can see my oldest boy hanging out the bedroom window. I think he is shouting “we want waffles”. Better get back inside before I get reported for ‘leaving my children in distress’.

Did I mention that I’m in hiding………

Unusually cold

I have spent the last couple of days trying to buy wood or heaters – either or will do. Unfortunately everything in the local area is sold out. I was about to chop up hubby’s mahogany Executive office desk (the one his ex bought) when I decided to give the local petrol station one more try. Imagine my delight when I discovered a fresh batch of wood.

The mahogany desk is safe for now.

Wood is not the only thing difficult to find in Fredrikstad – it seems they are sold out of akebretter (toboggans) as well (the decent priced ones at least).

While I’ve been running around looking for heaters – hubby has been working on starting the car.

There’s a car battery in middle of our lounge floor (which has been there for two days) and a thick black cord leading from the car, through a window and into the bedroom (also been there for two days). I believe it is connected to a ‘cupe’ heater‘ which he is trying to warm up the car with. Hubby assures me that “it’s on the verge of happening”. I think he is referring to the car starting but I’m not entirely convinced.

Since there are no toboggans in the area and I don’t have wheels to drive around looking for some – I went ahead and ordered them on the internet. Even that was a sad experience as they didn’t have much left in stock to chose from.

At least I found a cute baby akebrett at Clas Ohlson so that I can take our English rose to the barnehage and back (the pushchair was left outside so it is frozen and unusable at the moment).

On a more exciting note – I did discover an ‘end of range sale’ at a local sport shop yesterday. The sale included winter stock at 70% discount (everything in the shop). It might be last year’s fashion but the family is kitted out for a cold winter!

It might be cold but as hubby said: “at least we don’t live in the UK”.